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1 year ago
Hello people, guess im back to blog. Needed a place to speak out, to vent my frustrations.
Probably the only thing i want to rant about is about my girlf. I really cannot understand how she can just ignore how i feel and just do whatever she feels like doing. I know she’s just having fun, but sometimes things really get overboard i feel the pain.
Quoting one incident which just happened today. We were at cathay going over to find her classmates for a movie session. She was using yb’s iphone to access facebook, into my account to look for some friends of mine. She was showing me this funny picture of a guy whose profile name is daphane, it was gross. So i closed the profile. She started to give me a ‘black’ face, ignoring me and just walking off far away. The movie started and i walked out of the cinemas cause she wouldnt even respond to anything i say. I wanted to just skip the whole show and sit outside the cinema. I was really fucking hurt by how she could get upset with me over a facebook thing. I went to the toilet to wash my face and headed back to the cinemas and tried talking to her again. After a few tries i managed to coax her into not being upset with me.
All these things happen time and again, every time with me as the party who gives in. It doesnt matter if i give in. Its more of how each time you can just think of it as fun and brush me off. Sometimes i really wonder what am i to you. :/
I know it isnt easy on your side, with your auntie disapproving of our relationship and stuff like that. And i want to share those problems with you, but you wouldnt. You wouldnt tell me anything, yet you’d tell zuen, and even ask me to get information about whatever that happened from her. I mean like, its okay if you dont wanna tell anybody anything. But you telling zuen something regarding me that your auntie said, and asking me to ask zuen what happened? That really pushed me off the cliff. It might just be me being oversensitive. But thats all i want in this relationship, for you to tell me things that upset you, for the communication to be there. Is that so difficult for you to understand?
Sometimes i really feel like giving up, but i tell myself no. Im still holding on, even if you leave me just a piece of thread to pull myself back up, i’ll still hold on. Just cause i love you. It really makes my day to just see you beam in excitement, or you smiling at me. Its just so heartmelting and i cannot lose it. Baby, you’re the one girl that i can really say i love, till the point that i really want to just skip this relationship age and just marry you and live with you for the rest of my life.
Sorry i ranted so long. Feeling much better now that i’ve poured out these emotions. Though i know nobody’s gonna fucking read this shit, but i dont care. Im just gonna write and write and write.
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